Desperate lazy people watching late night infomercials with a giant bowl of buttered popcorn and a six pack of beer have watched fitness fads come and go. Credit cards at the ready, these people believe they can lose weight and trim that unsightly fat – without doing any actual work.
So for those of you who want the easy way to health and fitness, here are a few of my favorite pieces:
The Belt Slimmer
Shake away that body fat – while wearing heels and a dress!
The Hand Fitness Trainer
Silence of the lambs much?
The Face Trainer
Reduce the signs of aging while toning the face muscles. Because, well, yeah.
The Toe Corrector
For bunions and unaligned toes. Looks like fifty shades of the next sequel.
The Cordless Jump Rope
No need to jump out of your chair.
The Automatic Ab Maker
While your man relaxes in front of the TV each night munching his midnight snack, he can be working on his abs while not really working at all. (Boxer shorts not included.)
Dumbbell Eating Utensils
Lift weights as you lift that fork full of cheesecake. There is a reason they call these dumbbells…
Horseback Riding Simulator Exercise Machine
This is my personal favorite. I live in the country and many of my friends own actual live horses. Just think how much money you’d save if you got this instead!
Take a look at it in action! For best results, make sure your sound is on.
And last but not least…
I’m not really sure what this is, but I’ll take two. Of the guy and the thing he’s holding.
*Cover my ass sentence: just so you know, these pieces of equipment are real and some have sold millions. I am not saying that these won’t work for you. At least not in writing anyway.